I realized something recently. When I look at people in my life (usually friends around my age) who are doing well or showing some positive trait, it’s easy to assume they’re going to be fine. By “good” I mean simple things: decent skills at work, social skills, things like that. For example, if someone is great at social interactions but lacks actual work-related skills, I instantly assume they’ll find a way to make those social skills work for them.
But when it comes to myself, it’s the exact opposite. No matter what I’ve worked for or put effort into, it feels like it’s never going to be enough. I refuse to acknowledge any leverage or advantage I actually have. Why the fuck am I so hard on myself?
The reason is clear to me. As I keep growing older, responsibilities arrive. There’s only one path, which is becoming a man and facing them. Multiple factors contribute. For example, when I see people online around my age who are so much better than me at what I do, it makes me worry. That is just one reality, and there are other factors I have to fight. It’s like a competition that never ends.
Knowing all this, it’s natural to think this way. It’s probably the same for anyone who feels a sense of responsibility. It’s just a phase I’m going through. I’m hoping it will bring a good change in me.
Just to end on a positive note:
The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.